Jealousy

 My Comment: It's a need for fulfillment, but that's possible through meditation only. Either turn love into a meditation or do meditation only. 

Osho on Jealousy: 

“Jealousy is one of the most prevalent areas of psychological ignorance about yourself, about others and more particularly, about relationship.

“People think they know what love is – they do not know. And their misunderstanding about love creates jealousy. By ‘love’ people mean a certain kind of monopoly, some possessiveness – without understanding a simple fact of life: that the moment you possess a living being you have killed him.

“Life cannot be possessed. You cannot have it in your fist. If you want to have it, you have to keep your hands open.

“But the thing has been going on a wrong path for centuries; it has become ingrained in us so much that we cannot separate love from jealousy. They have become almost one energy.

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“The feeling of jealousy is a byproduct of marriage.

“In the world of animals, birds, there is no jealousy. Once in a while there is a fight over a love object but a fight is far better than to be jealous, far more natural than to be caught up in jealousy and burn your heart with your own hands.

“Marriage is an invented institution, it is not natural; hence nature has not provided a mind that can adjust to marriage. But man found it necessary that there should be some kind of legal contract between lovers, because love itself is dream-stuff, it is not reliable... it is there this moment and the next moment it is gone.

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Jealousy is not a primary thing, it is secondary. It is a secondary part of sex. Whenever you have a sexual urge in your mind, a sexual happening in your being, whenever you feel sexually attracted and related to somebody, jealousy enters because you are not in love. If you are in love, jealousy never enters.

“Try to understand the whole thing. Whenever you are sexually related you are afraid because sex is really not a relationship, it is an exploitation. If you are attached to a woman or man sexually, you are always afraid that this woman may go to somebody else, this man may move to somebody else. There is no relationship really, it is just mutual exploitation. You are exploiting each other, but you don't love – and you know it so you are afraid.

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Love is only the jumping board. There is much more ahead of it, which is possible only if two persons remain intimate for a longer period of time. With a new person, you begin again from scratch. And there is no need for a new person, because now it is not the biological or the physical aspect of the person, but you have come into communion spiritually.

“To transform sex into spirituality is my basic approach. And if both are lovers and meditators they will not mind, once in a while, if you visit a Chinese restaurant, or she goes to visit some continental restaurant! It is not a problem. You love the woman; if she is feeling happy once in a while with somebody else, what is wrong in it? You should be happy that she is happy, you love her. Only meditators are capable of dropping jealousies….

“Love without meditation is bound to turn into hatred any moment – beware – but love with meditation will become deeper and deeper, more and more intense. And perhaps two persons will feel together so attuned, a kind of at-one-ment, that they would love to be together forever.”

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Love always trusts, or if it finds that the trust is not possible it simply moves in a friendly way; there is no conflict and fight. Sex creates jealousy; find, discover love. Don’t make sex the basic thing — it is not.

India missed with arranged marriage; the West is missing with free love. India missed love because parents were too calculating and cunning. They would not allow falling in love: that is dangerous, nobody knows where it will lead. They were too clever, and through cleverness India missed all possibility of love. In the West they are too rebellious, too young; not clever — too young, too childish. They have made sex a free thing, available everywhere: no need to go so deep to discover love, enjoy sex and be finished. Through sex, the West is missing: through marriage, the East has missed. But if you are alert you need not be Eastern, you need not be Western. Love is neither Eastern nor Western. Go on discovering love within you. And if you love, sooner or later the person will happen to you, because a loving heart, sooner or later, comes to a loving heart — it always happens. You will find the right person.

But if you are jealous you will not find, if you are simply for sex you will not find, if you live only for security you will not find. Love is a dangerous path and only those who have courage can travel it. And I say to you it is the same, just like meditation — only for those who are courageous. And there are only two ways to reach the divine: either meditation or love. Find out which is your way, which can be your destiny.