Memories

January 30, 2026

Memories

My comment: We had such long conversations for months during 2008-9... but you didn't come to India for some reason. You were very spiritually wise even at the age of 16-17......Hope you remember wherever you are, as you already said you will never forget it....must be around 35 now :-)

NEVER HAD SUCH A STRONG CONNECTION WITH ANYBODY ELSE. FELT LIKE SOULMATES!

I was rude with you (although better would be a gentle goodbye but emotions were strong then) as I felt you were confused (not posting all those chats here though), which might be due to your age and other limitations, while I believe in standing for my decisions and simple sorted out life (I avoid confusions in life....take a decision and stick to it unlike you as you broke promises made to me which is the sign of lack of practical spirituality AND I WAS RUDE (STILL WRONG THOUGH) BECAUSE OF THAT ONLY. IT ALL ENDED BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS INTENDED BY GOD.....ONLY GOD KNOWS!), but anyways, I'm happy that you are working for the United Nations now.....I work out of my joy as a celebration of human life, working specifically for people doesn't matter much to me.....as working for people is also an illusion......the organization, which can't even stop wars in the world, is just doing ok work, and I'm not much impressed with them either.

NOT United Nations (UN) LIKE TALKS BUT MEDITATION / AWARENESS CAN STOP WARS, AND I HAVE GREAT HOPES FROM MAINLY OSHO'S VISION FOR HUMANITY.

Osho did more extensive work than most spiritual gurus, and while his teachings are more than enough, I still appreciate the wisdom offered by other teachers:

Thanks for introducing Nisargdatta Maharaj:

Wisdom and Love: "When I look inside and see that I am nothing, that is wisdom. When I look outside and see that I am everything, that is love. Between these two, my life turns".

The Power of Self-Love: "The only thing I plead of you is to make your love of yourself perfect".

And also Ramesh Basekar to me:

Ramesh Balsekar (1917–2009) was a prominent Indian spiritual teacher of Advaita Vedanta (non-duality) and a former President of the Bank of India. He is best known for his modern, practical interpretation of non-dualism, which he simplified for a global audience through daily talks in his Mumbai home.

A few glimpses out of hundreds of chat sessions:

Nov 2008:

Friend:

a. just had such a strong will..to run away with you, have enough money to live together wherever we want, not depending on unaware people...

b. I wanted you to get more aware without getting attached to me

Dec 2008:

Friend:

a. hi, sorry for bothering you!

i was just emptying my box and found a beautiful poem by Tiutchev(russian poet). then i found the translation. here you go:

Separation has this lofty meaning:

if love lasts years,

if but a day it takes,

love's just a dream

and we're a moment dreaming,

and whether early, whether late the waking,

the time must finally arrive when we awake.

b. in the end of the movie there is a beautiful song by bob marley..." emancipate urselves from mental slavery, no one but ourselves can free our minds, have no fear for atomic energy coz non of it can stop the time...how long shall they kill our prophets while we stand aside and look..." and so on- a beautiful song

and they lived forever in the moment dissolved in the universe with their endless love (< her name>&rohit's movie)

love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hug to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you Rohit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny thing is that when i dont talk to you&just being very conscious then you are always with me. when we start talking it seems that you are not with me anymore. do you understand?

Jan 2009:

Friend:

a. wonderful! it's raining :) everything is so beautiful! i think about you and smile :)

b. ...even if i could find the solution and gave it to you, you would not

appreciate it,because we never appreciate things we get easily... But

i can tell you,my friend, that there's no You and the Problem as two

separate things... it's all one... i hope these words will reach the

depths of your understanding,even if you are in the middle of your

work now :)

i wish you to be blissful and happy!

c. one has to accept All things, if he/she wont...the same things will be chasing him/her from life to life

d. i am your lover dear Rohit! but i cant belong to one person, i know it now. i am for all people.accept it :)by open i meant that i dont hide anything from you.but you are so concentrated on your little dreams that you see nothing.

e. hi, daaaaaaaarrrrlllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggggggg!

there is no time

time exists in mind only

and outer time we know is just a reflection of our inner time

when we understand that there's no time we become eternal

when we are eternal, we don't live in present or past, or in future because all those are sides of time, are parts of illusion.

eternity means no time

if there's no time there's no death and no fear, because you don't compare...

time is a cage

timelessness is freedom

the feeling of eternity is almost like a feeling of living in a present moment but still it's a bit different.

it's much deeper

the more you comprehend that truth the more flowers of eternity your heart is blossoming with

time and mind exist together

the more timeless you become the more mind gets retired

because mind is an illusion and it exists only tied up with another illusion

clocks people invented are just a reflection of clocks in our minds

a mind cant live without time. time cant live without mind

timelessness is freedom

timelessness is when you know that nothing can be repeated

eternity means that you can give give and give and there never will be the end to it.

beggining and end are limits

their absence is something mind cant understand because it's limited in itself... "

g. hope soon all that idiotism with using words will be finished and pure life will remain :)

silence only..and two hearts beating as one! :)

Dec 2008:

Friend:

u are my little conscious light

i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend:

when i'll come i'll read u smth in abkhazian lang.

Friend:

want to embrace you

and not to talk

just wanna be with you

no point of hurting each other

Friend:

here is a wonderful poem by Sri Chinmoy:

"O LOVE ME MORE AND LOVE ME LONG

O love me more and love me long.

My boat is sinking, my hope is strong.

O love me more and love me long.

My breath is bleeding, my dream is strong.

O love me more and love me long.

My soul is leaving, my surrender strong.

O love me more and love me long.

My Goal is crying, my promise strong."

Friend:

i dont want ur happiness to be depending on me(or anybody else) coming

Friend:

remember in ur heart that all we are one. she's you, you are me, i am her...when you are aware of it there are no issues

Friend:

but giving will liberate you!!! i want you to be free&happy

Jan 2009:

Friend:

a. if it was me on your place i would have shared with you what i'm going

through & the pain would be lifted off my shoulders...

...yesterday i felt like all sadness of the world came to my heart. i

wondered what could it be and then a thought came-Rohit.

remember,dear friend,no matter what it is-pain,anger,happiness...give

it to me,let it go from your heart.that's what giving means...

i do it all the time.any thought or a feeling...i try not to gain even

in meditativeness...anything i share with the universe or with

mr.Gurdjieff,which are the same...

i'm sending you all my caring...

but if a heart really wishes, one will meet a master...but following a master is death

master leaves his body and everything goes with him. organizations are just a waste of time

i hope a day will come when enlightened people wont be exceptional anymore, whenn it will be normal to be aware

we have to be open now! but you say : " it's a chat, i dont have to be open, it's not a real life". Then when i'll come you'll say : " we are not married yet and you dont live with me, how can i be open?" and then when we married you say : " sorry, i thought you are different. can't be open with you now!"........

if we dont love and belong to each other now then marriage is an illusion......

my little bear!

:) love you much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know a movie where a guy who farted flied on a spaceship to cosmos.

haha dont make me explain

a great hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 2009:

Friend:

a. No, no, questions are never stupid!

:-)

On the contrary, i am grateful, that you listen with your heart.!

Much Love. :)

b. That is great.... Among all people i know.... your understanding is

clear. I am truly happy, just happy.

Western people are so intellectual and clinging to conceps, 'i should

do this or that. i should/ should not let go' and so on... People from

East, Asia are also in such a misunderstanding with 'religion', 'god'.

Rare to find a midpoint.

If you are going to bed, i wish you a beautiful sleep.

c. I meant to say that only in one's heart understanding can happen...

instantly! No matter how many books he/she read or how many gurus

visited. No matter how high or low he/she is on a "spiritual

ladder"(nonsense!). Something just happens, when intellect is silent

and it does not need time. It is instant... happens right now in a

heart of one's heart. And then he/she can't say anything...becoming

spellbound, because it is so simple and always was right here.

Hugs and kisses to You, sweetest Rohit!

May 2009:

Friend:

a. Dear Rohit, how are you?

Having fingers crossed for you for tomorrow. All power of my heart is with you!

It all will be alright, it is just a dream, you know. Remain yourself

everywhere with anyone and may your heart be in peace and clarity!

b. Yes, but that truth gets obscured by thoughts

You suffer because you are not here and not there

Choose something

either to fall back into unaware life ( impossible) or just watch everything that comes

Watching liberates you for that false entity the mind has created

And beyond the thought...

there is peace

beauty

beyond words

can u feel the vastness of it?

You are the light in which things appear and disappear

You are the emptiness within which the sound is born

Everything is within you

June 2009 :

Friend: :)... Looking at you with my eyes full of love

Friend:

Dear

I am now in Moscow, then going to Bangkok

The travel is a bit hard...we have missed our connection flight

Your words have warmed my heart enourmously

I love you, my soulmate

Be free

Love Love

Friend: :)...but i dont know what can break your heart

i will tell you what can break my heart:

1) when you talk harsh

2) when you are in pain

Friend: Dear Rohit,

you are free to be with me or with anybody else

How can i hold you? how can i say: "dont love anybody, except for me"

? Understand, it is not indifference from me, i love you. But i cant

put you in a prison of my love. You are not mine and you will never

be. See it and smile :)

Friend: We are so alike... I dont know anybody as similar with me as you

are...i feel you can understand everything

in my head i also was a bit complaining, hehe...

Friend : 'I wish to live in a world where everyone is always'

Me : Me too....but it changes fast...people changes...everything changes...... you never know when a person will turn hostile or leave you. :-)
It's more obvious when one meets many people.

Friend : I enjoy your way of talking

Me : this is the way a Buddha talks...haha!

Anyway, the only way to remain unaffected with change and feel as if nothing changes is to detach oneself from all that which changes.

Friend : Thats a task for a lifetime, dear :)

Me : really? Isn't it just about being aware & enjoy inner bliss.....just a moment is needed!

Friend : Ah, i am smiling, so cool!

Oct 2009:

Friend: Who loses the awareness? Sincerety and strength are needed, to keep the "I" thought in the head no matter what. Strength comes when it must, until then suffering, anger will continue. Who wants them to stop? As Ramesh Balsekar said " The power that started the search will bring you where it has to. Why worry? Why want that thirst to stop? "

Me: True! All is suffering without love / awareness. But one must be earnest enough to decide to be aware as nisargdatta suggests.

So, i'm just watching myself....my desires and fears.....sometimes i give up to them but then i realize that it only brings more suffering.

i keep reading ( osho, nisargdatta, ramesh etc. ) that if you accept everything as it is then nothing else is needed....so, better not to fight with suffering too.....better not to ask for anything and accept even hell.

Friend:

:))))))))) I agree

Will you let me to share that I've read Ramana saying......I liked that example very much. He said that cross on which Jesus was hanged is ego....and that it dies slowly..that's why so much suffering....But one day, it is dropped off...and you are resurrected as Jesus was.

Me:

Karl talks like Nisargdatta i feel

anyway, interesting answer by Karl :

Can you say something about the relationship between man and woman? It seems to promise so much but contains so much pain. Is there any possibility of a true liberation through relationships?

The question is: Is there one who has a relationship and the necessity of liberation? The desire for every union (oneness) is based on the idea of separation. Can something which originates from a lie lead to truth? Can that which is dependent, by its nature dead, subject to time, make you what you are? Where the idea of oneness arises, there is twoness; by uniting is separated, and all comes and goes with something false, the "I". So, back to the root, to the question: To whom or in what does this "I" appear?

Friend:

Yes, yes.......thank you...I have read it in russian in his book :)

"To whom this/that thought or desire appears?" This is the main question..Then comes the answer "To me.". Well then "who am I? " And here...............silence.....All desires and thoughts are blown up by that.

Titanic: "A Thousand Years" -

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Rohit Malik

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